1. |
philly
06:18
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I sent you songs that made me think of you
songs with your name misplaced an ‘e’ for an ‘a’
I never got to see you bare bones
I thought that we would take it slow
"how was therapy?"
you would ask me
in the back seat
headed to Philly
you were so pretty
you like my songs so I wrote you seven for the week
that you were writing songs for nobody
I never got to show you my past
fucked it all up when we moved too fast
"how was therapy?"
you would ask me
in the back seat
headed to Philly
you were so pretty
you were so pretty
and you fell asleep
you were so happy
or did you lie through your teeth?
I was so happy
leaking through my bedroom eyes
I want you every night
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2. |
sorry
04:43
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can I really chalk it up to bad luck?
my home betrayed me and I've seen too much
can I really go through my days like this?
I wanna crawl out of my skin
the only thing that feels worse
than having faith in nobody
is this sinking feeling that it's all because of me
can I really chalk it up to my blood?
I’ve seen the patterns and they call my bluff
can I really go through my years alone?
the trauma’s all I’ve ever known
the only thing that feels worse
than having faith in nobody
is this sinking feeling that it’s all because of me
life is so boring when I know every day is gonna be like this
think I need some drugs
first I need some friends
think I'll drink to forget
will I ever feel comfortable again?
can I really chalk it up to my brain?
they say I'm depressed but really I'm deranged
some days I want to suffer
no I want to be better than her
she looks good like me but she can't hurt like me
she looks good like me but she can't fuck like me
think I need some time
to bury through my mind
think I'll ache ‘til I die
when my body just doesn't suit me right
and if I had a son
I’d resent him for his power over me
and if I had a daughter I would hide her so she wouldn't have to be…
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3. |
comma
04:57
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think i'll wear it on my sleeve
or underneath my sheets
I don't ever wanna be
the men who touched me
laugh to myself in my car
seeing shadows in the dark
feelings condomless and forced
it was good but was coerced
it was good but was coerced
we went to the corner store
17 and 24
I bought protection for your drawer
my memory’s a train wreck but my body
is a canvas and a map for my demons and my bad habits
he moved in me, they all moved in me
like a comma on a page
now i'm older than my age
think i'll wear it like a cross
I am deviant and smart
I am patiently naive
feel their pattern then they leave
cry to myself in my sleep
it was all just a bad dream
push my finger though my palm
repeat it daily like the hook of your favorite song
that you've grown to hate
darling please make it good
make it hurt like i knew you would
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4. |
it's not you, it's me
07:27
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I am no longer in human form
I go where you place me
I make pretty patterns in the flesh
of a body I've disowned
I don't want to leave my bed
I don't want to see my friends
I love you, I want to throw up
I love you but it's not enough
You can no longer push past the layers
no you can't reach me now
you are curious
everybody wants to say they've been here
but no one wants to stay for long
I'm a haunted house
I don't want to leave my bed
I don't want to see my friends
I love you, I want to collapse
you love me but just not like that
I am not a strong woman
I will write you a million songs ‘til you take me back
and you'll be looking down at me
from your pedestal where I put you at
I'm weak, I cannot eat and "it's not you, it's me"
I'll be your dog, I'll be your sleigh
I'll be your bride, I'll be your babe
I'll be anything that you want except okay
I'll be anything but okay
if you could just kiss me
or just sleep next to me
if you could just kiss me
I want you so bad that it's killing me
I am no longer in human form
I go where you place me
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5. |
sorry reprise
01:46
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sorry
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6. |
boys
04:51
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I will accept the things I'll never comprehend
I find myself sleeping in someone else's bed
I will not listen to the fables of a liar
I won't wait up for any boy to change his mind
most days I don't see a point
flesh it out to blood and boys
who fucked with my head
there are some things that my body can't unlearn
that's why I'm weird about sex
I can't see my self worth
I see the way that men look at me on the street
they don't want my crying at 3 am
they want my body
most days I don't see a point
flesh it out to blood and boys
who fucked with my head
most days I feel like I'm cursed
when it seems like it can't get worse
I feel lower than I deserve
I wish I didn't have to look the way I do
I scream into an endless void
I break in two
most days I don't see a point
flesh it out to blood and boys
who fucked with my head
most days I feel like I'm cursed
when it seems like it can't get worse
I feel lower than I deserve
every person that I see
exists solely to destroy me
I just want to feel pretty
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7. |
glass
06:25
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my head cannot commit
on ways I’m trying to live
or trying to die
my bones start to split
when I become the daughter
they’re trying to hide
oh and these days I don’t see straight
oh and these days I don't feel the same
it doesn’t matter what I want
it doesn't matter what I need
the feeling’s always incomplete
my blood cannot commit
oh am I going to be another lost cause?
my chest starts to sink
when I become the one thing I’m most afraid of
oh and these days I don’t see straight
these days I don't feel the same
I eat glass in my sleep
I get rough in the sheets
you make all my bad dreams
feel so empty
my heart always commits
and all the doctors tell me
my symptoms are feigned
my bones start to split
when I become the daughter
that’s easy to break
oh and these days
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8. |
less than you
02:39
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he won’t understand what it's like to want to
degrade yourself to someone who was once inside of you and took everything
or to see the way somebody looks at you and know that they can't
possibly view you as anything short of an animal
cut to the chase
cut out the smooth skin
only to remind myself
that I am still less than you
even if you fall back in love with me
you know it's true
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9. |
II
04:19
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driving on empty, I suppose
that people who have their shit together don't
I don’t think i'm getting better
I remember
the week my father dropped me off at the hospital
I don't like boys I just fall in love with them
when the trauma feels like home
I guess i'm better now than I was a month ago
better only means so much when you can't get out of bed
proving I could hurt myself better than them
they laugh and say I'm pretty dark but wouldn't you be if you needed it for your art?
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flowerbomb Washington, D.C.
Flowerbomb is a Washington DC-based band consisting of Rachel Kline, Dan ABH, Connor White, and Abby Rasheed.
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